Ram's "agni-pariksha"

one odd day in one of my PG room some girls(of 11th and 12th standard)
were laughing hysterically..
i peeped in
they all were mimicing the dialoges of serial ramayan and mahabharat and
having fun

this scene made me think of my school days

right from my childhood i was very much familiar with the name
ramayan,mahabharta,hanuman,geeta,also jesus and allaha
my parents always told me stories of both ram and rahim
papa always told me great things written in quran

when i was child i did not understood meaning of these things
but as i grew and now when i am away from my parents i always remember those beautiful short stories

but what i saw in my pg room was sadening
i mean all of them were talking (obviously) in english
and considering the chatracters of ramayan and mahabhrat as if they all were alien
i mean they actually dont know anything that is written in ethics...???
nothing at all!!!!

when i was a child i was told not only the known stories but also stories of these ethics which were "off the records"...although even today i dont know origin of both
"on" or "off" the record stories


i had problm with "on"... that

"when ram was so great GOD why did he ask sitaji to give a "agni-pariksha" when he defeated ravan...didnt he trust his wife who herself was (also is) considered as godess..."

i had whole lot of problme with RAM
i took lot of courage to ask my parents abt it
and i was told this "off" by my papa


"look beta ...ram was god ..he knew all that was about to happen...
when ravan was about to come to take away sita..in the form of a beggar..
just before the scene ram knew what all was going to happen...so he asked agni to keep sita safe with it...and the lady that ravan took with him was just a maya and not actual sita...so when ram defeated ravan ram had to take back his wife from lord agni and so he arranged for a agni pariksh...."

i was satisfied

I want to be....

when i was a kid i wanted to be a nun
..because i used to see nuns in my schools
i enjoyed my middle school days..then
as i grew i wanted to be a doctor
i used to see the medical college which was in the way of my school
then slowly as and when i "discovered" that passing a PMT is "tough" my dream faded
i was still in 9th only and i enjoyed my higher school

then finally i took science so that i would become an "engineer"(may be a chief engineer like my father)
and would do my bachelors from the same college as my father did
but i could not!!!
i did engineering from xyz college
and i became a engineering with flying colors(????)
i enjoyed my college days
and i dont know what helped me(my luck or hardwaork or yuuu he ho gaya) and recruited by a IT company during my third year...
soon i became "hero" for my relatives(specially who were pursuing engineering)
i joined
i thought am i really a part of this big institution
i got into project
i thought i will never be able to do coding but to my amazment i did
did it pretty well
but i never loved it
for some days i did like it
i still like it
but still i feel i am at wrong place
may be i wanna be a manager
may be a journalist
may be a painter
may be a nice mother
may be a good house wife
may be a social worker
may be all of the above
may be none of the above
i am happy...
i enjoy...
then does that mean that ultimately people like me are happy anywhere they are
and do good or above average where ever they go...BUT...
that directly means that there is no word like "aim"
or "aim" is what we do
i am confused but i am happy
and trying to do better than "good"....

This smell reminds me ..of.....

yup this happens with me
i have many memories....associated with smell..

there is one particular "smell of school"... that too my primary school..
whenever i go to some primary school(yup not all) the smell reminds me of my school days

there is a smell that reminds me of my tuition place
the smell of air of march-april reminds me of exams

there is a smell that reminds me of my school sir(he was a hunk..:))

some smell reminds me of as if my papa(father) is very angry and about to scold me...altough i am in pune and he is in jodhpur)

then there are "normal" smells of rain,baking roti,smell of new note books,some perfume..that reminds me of different occasions

all this may be weird for others
but for me it is very important
it keep me in touch with my sweet memories when i am far away from my dear ones
i never told this to anyone but i wanted to express this...that smell is so important
and so i thought that blog is the best place...

home sweet home

Home...such a relaxing word...i am sure we all get that close-up smile on our face on the very mention of home.I completed my school and college from my my home only..so i "normally" liked my home as all of us like.

Then i was very happy since i got job in hyderabad...
was very excited to live independently...
I always thought "freedom" was the word...
my parents came with me to hyd...i was settled there and then they left...
......then things stared striking my head
how on the earth am i going to manage "all this"
for many mrng i woke up with swollen eyes..(since i cried at night and could not sleep)
every day i talked to them so that i could...survive
then slowly things stared going on right track(is it?)
i started living
i managed myself
i became more punctual
more sincere
and more lively
and in this learning phase...my love and respect for my parents grew rapidly
i found out their real value
i started missing(also liking)those small scolding from them
when i had to purchase gift for them someone asked me.."...what is the range.." and i was
blank faced..."anything" was the reply
i wanted to do something that would make them actually happy(more than making them proud i want them to be happy)
i do so many things for their happiness but i am not satisfied...and i dont even want to.